So . . . I am not much of a blogger.Ha! I haven't written anything since Dec. I am guessing zip people have seen this, but I am okay with it since this is kind of like a diary with every so often actual entries in it. I am leaving my school to go to a kind of old-school school! Ha, a pun! I think! I am going to live with my aunt. It is a very odd situation. I was feeling kind of depressed, but not like the extreme "I am going to kill or cut myself" thing. I just felt lonely. A lot. Sometimes I still do, but it isn't as bad. Next year is when I start my new school. It was not bad shadowing there. The people were nice and it was kind of fun. I almost was on the soccer team this year. I was at practice one day, when I suddenly was just so tired of working. I felt like I could hardly walk let alone run and dribble a ball between my feet. I went up to Coach and told him I quit. Did I spell quit right? I can't remember and am too lazy to check. Anyway, I said " Coach, I can't do this anymore and I'm so tired." I thought I was about to cry. (I did later though) He told me I would get better and would be in better shape after some more practice and games. We hadn't even had our first game yet. He told me to come back once I got some water, but I was so ashamed that I just called my aunt told her , well, most of what happened just not the no return part that I did. I left without telling him. My mom picked me up. I felt better when I was talking to some guy friends while waiting on her. We talked about how no one liked my coach and joked around about other stuff. Everyone asked why I quit. I tried to be very vague about it. I avoided talking to my brother thinking that if my mom told him which she did that he would be disappointed and upset. You see, he played soccer in high school. He is in college now. He said it was hard practice. When he finally confronted me about it, He was okay with it he was just a little upset about me not telling him. I love my brother so much. We are very close and tell each other most things like what my parents don't know!Haha! I always am so scared to tell what I really feel or think, but I think I'm starting to realize that maybe it is better sometimes. If I didn't tell anyone how unhappy I really was at my school, then, I might not of every gotten this opportunity to start over with my aunt and uncle, who I am very close to, and , maybe, finally have a BFF who I can tell my deepest secrets to or sleepover with. My life with my mom and dad just won't allow what I think I need, but I won't tell them that because it would hurt their feelings so much, and it will change anyway. That is one thing I'm not telling them even if it does go against what I just told you. More to come at some point!Hopefully!
Hoping for a better life for everyone out there whether you know of me or not,
xoxoxo
Bree
